The worst of Europe

1. Bullfights. I love Spain, and some of my fondest travel memories are from that country. However, bullfights are, in my opinion, the unfair, unsporting, and cruel torture of a fine animal. (I would have no problem with bullfighting if the bull had half a chance and more matadors were gored.) If you disagree with me, go see one. If you agree, go see one anyway, so you can talk about how bad it is with authority. Feel free to walk out halfway through.

2. Secondhand smoke. We’re talking billowing clouds of nicotine death, spewed forth from every man, woman, and child above the age of nine. Well, maybe it’s not quite that bad, but it’s bad enough. You’ll see.

3. Munich Hauptbahnhof. This is not so much a railway station as a gigantic ant farm built for human beings. Despite having passed through it at least ten times, I still manage to get lost every time I arrive. Both members of the rock group Milli Vanilli lived in this station for a time, I can understand why they lip-synched their way out of there.

Four “Oh My God” moments in Europe

These are some personal favorites; sights that, when you see them, will leave you with no doubt whatsoever that (1) you are in Europe,and (2) you are seeing something that is totally different from what you normally see in everyday life.

1, Westminster, London. (This one is best at night, but pretty darn impressive in the day as well.) When you’re in London, before vou go anywhere, take the Tube to Westminster Station. Leave the station using Exit Four, and only Exit Four. Look up. You’ll understand.

2. St Peter’s, Rome. Walk in the door at St Peter’s. Look all the way to the other end of the room. That big thing in your way, with the pillars, is the tomb of St Peter, the first Pope. That white dove, up there on the window, the one that looks like a fly, is larger than you are. The room you’re standing in can hold 95,000 people.
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Five thrills for outdoor enthusiasts

1. Hiking down Samarian Gorge, Crete. At 18km in length, the Samarian Gorge is the largest in Europe, descending dramatically from the Omalos plateau. The walk down the gorge takes between four and seven hours, depending on how fit you feel and how much scenery you stop to take in. You can also walk up the gorge if you’re a contrarian at heart; it’s six or seven hours at a reasonable pace. The single most rewarding part to a descent of the scenic gorge is the cold sea water which awaits at the bottom - your dive in is likely to live long in your memory.

2. Surfing in Thurso, Scotland. Unlikely though it may seem, Scotland is fast gaining a reputation as a surfing destination, with a good selection of quality breaks. It may not have the sunshine of Hawaii, and the water is generally steely-gray rather than turquoise-blue, but Thurso is a definite surf spot and boasts one of the finest reef breaks in Europe. However, Scotland’s northern coastline lies on the same latitude as Alaska and Iceland, so the water temps are very low - you’ll need a good wet suit.

Five preserved pieces of “Ye Olde World”

1. Bruges, Belgium. Bruges enjoyed great prosperity from the ninth to the fifteenth centuries, but eventually slipped into decline, finally rediscovered by wealthy nineteenth-century Europeans drawn to the town’s quiet, aged charm. Frozen in time, having managed to escape damage in both world wars, Bruges has emerged as the perfect tourist attraction with its intimate, winding steets living up to even the most inflated tourist hype. However, make sure to see it out of season or in the early morning before the hordes have descended, otherwise it can become unbearable.

2. Vindabona (Hoher Markt), Austria. Buried below street level in Vienna’s oldest square, and accessible through what is now a sushi bar, is the remains of the Roman camp - Vindabona. Today, two large houses still remain, revealing the complex heating systems which the Romans developed to see them through the harsh Austrian winters. The fact that Vienna bustles stories above the quiet remains of the old Roman ruins adds an eerie edge to the site.

Four Beckoning Beaches

1- Sagres, Portugal. Although once a port of great maritime significance, the Sagres of today is better known for its long stretches °i scenic beaches. Within walking distance of the village lie a half a°zen pristine beaches, free of crowds and offering up majestic Views of the southwesternmost tip of Portugal. If the water is too cold for you (it can get quite chilly), you can stop into the village market to stock up on picnic provisions and five-liter flagons of the local wine for pennies.

2. Bol, Croatia. Stranded on the far side of the Vidova Gora mountains, Bol’s beautiful setting and the charm of its old stone houses is unbelievable. However, the main attraction of the village is its beach, Zlatni Rat (Golden Cape). Unusually sandy for this region and stunningly beautiful, the cape juts into the sea in the form of a giant “Y,” changing shape slightly from day to day as the wind plays across it.
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Four Fantasy Islands

1. The Lofotens, Norway. Way, way, way, up north by the Arctic Circle, off the coast of Norway, are the Lofotens, a magical land ot twenty-hour days, wild blueberries, and fresh cod in the Unfortunately it’s a rain-soaked, freezing nightmare of fog and cold in the winter. However, summer visitors should spend at least a week wandering through these islands, which even the Norwegians see as a rugged and somewhat adventurous destination. Bring hiking boots, bug spray, the best raincoat you can afford, and be prepared for friendly people, sweeping vistas, and lots of fish on the menu.

2. The Isle of Man, Britain. This island (located between Britain and Ireland in the Irish Sea) technically belongs to England but has its own parliament, dialect, and (most importantly to the British) tax laws. For some reason known only to God, the islanders take great pride in two of the local animals: the Manx cat (which has no tail), and the Manx loghtan sheep (which has four horns). Horny sheep and tail-less cats aside, the island is perfect for hiking and walking and has some of the most impressive scenery in Britain.
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Six great day-trips

1. San Gimignano via Florence. San Gimignano is a little town about an hour’s bus ride from Florence and is most famous for its thirteen towers, which were built to store grain during times of war during the Middle Ages. Because the city is remarkably well preserved it is a magnet for tourists, most of them on day-trips from Florence. I advise just the opposite: stay in San Gimignano and take the bus into Florence for the day. Your quiet evenings here will make the twenty-first century seem like a memory.

2. Oxford via London. The most well-known of all British universities is just an hour by bus from London, and has enough student and budget accommodations to house an army. Oxford University is actually made up of a number of individual “colleges,” most of which are centuries old, and housed in truly beautiful old buildings. While the buildings are ancient, the students are not, and you will find a rocking good time if you visit during a festival or as the term ends.

Seven worthwhile spots you might overlook

1. El Escorial, a monastery and palace about an hour outside Madrid. The tombs of Spanish royalty and nobility alone are worth the trip out, and the building itself is quite impressive. It is filled with art treasures, of course.

2. The Cathedral at Koln (Cologne). This is a hot tip. If you are going to take a train through Koln and don’t intend on stopping, catch an earlier train, and when you get to Koln jump off and go to the cathedral, which is a two-minute walk from the station. Give yourself an hour or two, then catch the next train to your destination.

Eight Festivals Worth Building an Itinerary Around

All these are great - but for accommodation at any you’ll need to book way in advance.

1. The Fiesta of San Fermin, also known as the Running of the Bulls, in Pamplona, Spain. A massive party, with an incredibly dangerous but exhilarating five minutes every morning. Every July ° this festival begins at noon with a rocket fired by the mayor over the heads of a delirious crowd in Pamplona’s main square. The next day, and for the following six days, at precisely 8am, six bulls and eight steers are run about half a mile through the streets of the town to the bull ring. Anyone who so chooses can run with them, although females are very unwelcome. If you want to see this spec~ tacular event, come a few days early and look very, very hard tor -room. I slept with twelve strangers in a three-bedroom apartment and felt lucky to sleep indoors.

2 The Edinburgh Festival. The official Edinburgh Festival, which lasts three weeks at the end of August/beginning of September, is a serious cultural event. At the same time, though, the city hosts a military tattoo, jazz and film festivals, and the Festival Fringe, with thousands of alternative events - comedy, theater, music - and pubbing and clubbing till dawn.

Five Disappointments

1- Zermatt. The town, not the surroundings, which are beautiful, ^ermatt is a town in the Alps very close to the Matterhorn, and has therefore been a tourist mecca for more than a century. For a mere you can hire a guide to take you to the top of the Matterhorn. Plus the train to the town is private, and charges big bucks even with a Eurail pass. To top it all off, there is a thriving McDonald’s in town.

2. Versailles. Didn’t live up to expectations, but then the expectations are pretty high. Still worth going to see, though. The gardens are much better than the interiors. Worst food for the money I’ve ever eaten at the local snack bar, so bring lunch and spend most of your time outdoors. At this symbol of French majesty and grandeur, you are charged half a buck to use the bathroom.